Dropping pins on places on my skin that i'd like to visit someday. I look in the mirror and see a blurry figure. My voice is indistinct. She was a map soon to give me a heart attack I had to find it all over again. I was a dreamer I thought that I could see her but I was really looking at the drawing I made. I have to look all over again I have to look all over again I'm not even my own friend I'm lost in this carnival again.

That really looks like nice wine I'd like to try it sometime the bass in the music seems so good from a few walls and windows away. The photos you posted look so great and yeah I bet your friends were great and yeah I bet the songs were great it's all just so so great. I could never be angry at you you're just doing what you want to do I think it's better if I stay right here I'd probably bring down the mood. I could never be your friend you could be my friend and it feels like this night won't end like they're rubbing the salt deep down. I don't deserve the right to gaze upon you with my friends I'm a dog just put me down and you're the sun itself. I could never live like you you're just doing what I want to do I better go and crawl to a hole no one would know the difference anyway. I could never be anything and you could never be nothing it feels like this feeling won't end life's rubbing the salt deep down.

The world just keeps me inside all the people walk by me all so pretty and so perfect all so good at everything. Every beauty in the world brings me closer to the ground I just can't compete I just don't have a chance. Someone lead me somewhere somewhere away from here I wanna fall in love and get my lovers eyes. I need a breath of fresh air and a deserted island with no one around and nothing besides me. I'll forget all of the beauty and think it ends at me. But if come back and see those girls I'll disintegrate. Someone lead me somewhere somewhere away from here I wanna fall in love I'm sure love makes it all go away. I think I'll die alone that's if I die at all because I think I'll live forever this doesn't seem like it'll stop. I live my life alone that's if i'm living at all I've not seen the summer in so long. Someone lead me somewhere somewhere away from here I want it all to stop someone make it stop. (I see them on my phone) I think i'll die alone (I want to gouge my eyes out) that's if I die at all (it's so tough to carry on) because I think I'll live forever this doesn't seem like it'll stop. (I don't want to be alone) I live my life alone (I want someone to tell me it's fine) that's if I'm living at all I've not seen the summer in so long.

Skeletons with dressing on take me down turn it on. You're so good made me yours you don't know thesed shadowed wars. You hurt my chastised eyes. This body's mine. chastised eyes. Shiny wall, something inside move my body it moves with mine. You don't see you don't know you're high with the statues, I'm down below. You hurt my chastised eyes. These scabs are mine. chastised eyes. You give my chastised eyes a body to become I'll be those other guys.

Rows rows of people shining like gold. Thoughts mine will be left untold. Everyone rises up they are monuments. Falling to the ground I am a statuette. It's gonna be a long time it's gonna be a long long time. Wind blowing through the trees. A tree fell through the house but no one sees. Everyone's dancing along they are beside themselves. Looking through a broken window I am something else. It's gonna be a long time it's gonna be a long long time. Everyone's living on the edge of a heart attack. While I look at my bedroom walls counting the cracks. A boy I knew moved halfway across the world. He'll be making six figures while I'm singing about girls. It's gonna be a long time it's gonna be a long long time. The songs around this town all they do is bring me down. There's a show on tonight I'm sure it'll be a sight. And you'll never hear this song that I badly sing. Maybe I should want a little less than everything. It's gonna be a long time it's gonna be a long long time. It's gonna be a long time it's gonna be a long long time. Warmth come to me. Warmth you're all I need. -a long time --a long long time There's nothing I can do to get somewhere brand new. I want to be led somewhere where someone will care. I'm only eighteen but I'll remain unseen. There's so many others in front of me.

He comes in to talk to me tells me I need to get out more touches my shoulder I tell him I don't want to be touched no more. Now the chair is halfway across the room "I'll tear this building down I swear to God". And I lay on my own too scared to turn the light switch off. Muffled through thin walls "I'm leaving, this time it's for real" his words they attacked, but it's not the first time she's heard this act. She comes in to speak to me I thought she was on my side. screams like a banshee I thought my tears would never hide but none come out. I look off into the distance there's nothing to do now no one but myself to blame. I walk between fleshy walls looking for a book I hid away. but the book isn't there there's not an answer there. And there's nothing I can do too young to make a change. So I lay in my room waiting for it all to happen again.

You say the same things every single day you try and try and try to make the drafts go away. You've told me that about thirty times before. You couldn't see to your left you hit your head right on the door. But your plans are all miles ahead. Maybe it's better left unsaid. Do you even know that you're gonna go and never hear this? Do you even know? Do I even know? Does anyone really know? I tell you that my broken speakers can't be fixed. Nothing you tried ever worked and yet you still persist. You throw your glasses across the room and curse me out. The next day you ask if I've seen your glasses about. Your fine details are all miles behind. There's something in your brain that you can't find. Do you even know that you're gonna go and never hear this? Do you even know? Do I even know? does the doctor even know? Do you even see what you're starting to be? You're a shell with some rotten flesh inside. Do you even see? We all can see. You look in the mirror and you can't see. There's something wrong with you, man no one, even you, can understand. There's something wrong with you, man we're trying the best we can.

When the sun's out the moon's still there. Even when the sun's out the moon stays. The sun's out when there's people there but the moon is just out of sight. Werewolves you're turning into werewolves. Don't get angry but you're acting like animals. I sing my words like I'll die if i'm heard. I speak just the same. I smile almost like a maniac. It's because of you IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU. Werewolves you're turning into werewolves. I don't want to be like you but you called my name. And when I'm at my friend's house I wonder why I'm afraid of that big floating full moon making its way. Everything here is alright I can sleep tonight. but I return to the dark cave where they shout their lives away. Werewolves I don't wanna be a werewolf. I'm doing ok but then I see the full moon. Kill you I don't wanna have to kill you. But it's better than getting my life on track and having everyday host another attack. See you I know I will see you crying and cursing your old portraits then the same old routine the very next day. Full moon there's always a full moon. Even when the sun's so bright it's just a barrier for the night.

I woke up at night I got a big fright. Was Dead singing with Mayhem outside? It only took a second to forget the question. The answer was still in my mind. I got that answer when I was young and I first started to realise that cartoons and shows either lied or didn't know about the realities of life. (It doesn't matter) I can just (to me now) fall asleep. Background noise. (It doesn't matter) I can just (to me now) fall asleep. Background noise. I think I know why they kill each other every single night. But if someone asked me I think I'd just freeze it's ambiguous to say the least. I hope it's something breathing something with meaning if they insist on disrupting me. But I don't care I'm no longer scared it just makes me angry. (Background noise background noise) (It doesn't matter) I can just (to me now) fall asleep. Background noise. (It doesn't matter) I can just (to me now) fall asleep. Background noise. We're adults (The grown ups are talking) and we can do what we want. Living in the middle of a David Lynch film the world spins around and I pass out. I had a dream where I fell in love but her face was just a hazy blur. I lay in bed with a looking glass trying to pinpoint all of the cracks but I don't know how to get them fixed and I don't know if I can learn new tricks. Maybe I'll coat my room in white cover my ears and close my eyes and numb my body to the slightest touch and there'll be nothing that can get too much. Someoene's calling and it's not my friend they say it's on me to make amends I ask how long it'll take to climb they say IT'S GONNA BE A LONG TIME.